14 February 2007

Writer Finds Block of Wood

Early on Wednesday morning prolific novel
writer Sassan Hineman (42) found a large block
between him and his work. This approx 20cm
by 40 cm by 16cm block of wood (27) had
somehow found its way into Mr. Hineman (42)'s
chair and was refusing to leave.
"I tried to move it with my superior wit and
impeccable spelling, but it wouldn't budge. Eventually I decided we
would just have to learn to work together." Said Hineman (42) when I
interviewed him 20-30 minutes later, wearing a large red hat and waders.

Mr. Hineman (42) went on to tell me that the block of wood (27) had
continued to make it almost impossible for him to continue his work.
Apparently the writers block had eventually fallen onto the floor when
he started quoting Shakespeare at it. But it still occasionally tripped him
up and he went through bouts of being unable to write because of his
block.
Sources close to Mr. Hineman (42) have called the block "deeply
metaphoric".
"I've known Sassy for years." explained 'close friend' Roger Stout (38) "And
its always something with him, if it is not a block of wood it's a small wall
or a group of Renegade Prison Wardens. He always has an excuse for not writing."

So is Sassan Hineman (42) a man frequented by mysteriously obtuse metaphors?
Or is he a nut who will come up with any excuse not to do the job he was "born
to do"?
Only journalists such as myself can decide.

-Rory Glynn

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